Theirself or Themself: Which One Is Correct?

Themself can be used with singular they, while theirself is generally considered nonstandard. In most formal writing, themselves is still the safer choice.

Have you ever written a sentence with they and then stopped at the next word?

You may know that they can refer to one person. But what happens when you need a reflexive pronoun? Should you write theirself or themself?

This small question causes a surprising amount of confusion.

I have seen English learners hesitate over sentences such as, “They did it by ___.” The problem becomes harder when the person is not identified as male or female. Traditional English uses themselves, but modern English often uses singular they for one person. That has created a growing need for a matching singular reflexive form.

This is where themself comes in.

Theirself may look logical because their is the possessive form of they. However, that does not make it the correct reflexive form. Themself follows the same basic pattern as himself and herself.

In this guide, you will learn what both forms mean, when to use them, why they cause confusion, and which option is best for formal writing.

Theirself or Themself: Quick Answer

Themself is the reflexive form sometimes used with singular they.

For example:

• Jordan blamed themself for the mistake.
• Someone should ask themself whether the choice is fair.

Theirself is generally not considered standard English.

So, if you are choosing between the two, themself is the better choice when you need a singular reflexive pronoun.

However, there is another important option: themselves.

For example:

Alex told themself to stay calm.

or:

Alex told themselves to stay calm.

The first uses themself with singular they. The second uses the more traditional form themselves.

For formal writing, check the style guide or audience you are writing for.

The Origin and Background of Theirself and Themself

The confusion comes from the way English pronouns developed.

Traditional reflexive pronouns include:

Subject Pronoun	Reflexive Pronoun
I	myself
you	yourself
he	himself
she	herself
it	itself
we	ourselves
you	yourselves
they	themselves

Notice something interesting.

The reflexive form usually combines the object form of the pronoun with -self or -selves.

That gives us:

• him + self = himself
• her + self = herself
• them + selves = themselves

The problem appears when they refers to one person.

Traditional English developed themselves as the reflexive form of they. But if they refers to one person, some speakers find themselves less natural.

This led to the increasing use of themself.

The form follows a simple pattern:

them + self = themself

That makes themself easy to understand when singular they is being used.

By contrast, theirself is formed from the possessive word their:

their + self = theirself

That pattern does not match the normal structure of English reflexive pronouns.

Theirself vs Themself: What Is the Difference?

The biggest difference is standard usage and grammatical function.

Term	Meaning	When to Use	Region/Context
theirself	Intended as a reflexive form of singular they	Generally avoid in standard English	Nonstandard or dialectal usage
themself	Reflexive form used with singular they	When one person is referred to as they	Modern English
themselves	Traditional reflexive form of they	Plural they and many singular-they contexts	Standard English

1. Theirself

Theirself is usually treated as a nonstandard form.

You may encounter it in informal speech or in some regional varieties of English. But it is not the best choice for standard formal writing.

For example:

❌ Taylor prepared theirself for the interview.

A better version is:

Taylor prepared themself for the interview.

Or, depending on the context:

Taylor prepared themselves for the interview.

2. Themself

Themself is used by some speakers and writers as the singular reflexive form of they.

For example:

The student reminded themself to check the answer.

Here, themself refers back to the student.

Another example:

A person should ask themself whether the decision is fair.

This use is especially helpful when they refers to one specific person.

3. Themselves

Themselves is the traditional reflexive form of they.

It is clearly standard when they refers to more than one person:

The players congratulated themselves.

It is also widely used when they refers to one person:

Someone should take care of themselves.

For many readers, this remains the most familiar option.

Which Version Should You Use?

Your choice depends on the situation.

For formal academic writing

Use themselves unless your style guide or subject requires another form.

For example:

Every student should prepare themselves for the examination.

This sounds natural to most readers.

For modern inclusive writing

Themself can be useful when you are clearly referring to one person with singular they.

For example:

Each applicant should ask themself whether the position is suitable.

This avoids using himself or herself when the person’s gender is unknown or irrelevant.

For informal writing

Both themself and themselves may appear, depending on the speaker and context.

However, theirself is still best avoided if you want standard English.

For global readers

Choose the form that your audience will understand easily.

If you want the safest and most widely recognized choice, themselves is usually the better option.

Common Mistakes With Theirself and Themself

These words are easy to mix up. Here are the most common mistakes.

Mistake 1: Using theirself automatically

Wrong or nonstandard:

❌ The child hurt theirself.

Better:

The child hurt themself.

Or:

The child hurt themselves.

The possessive pronoun their does not normally create the standard reflexive form theirself.

Mistake 2: Assuming themself is always wrong

Some people believe themself is simply a spelling mistake.

That is too broad.

Themself is used as a singular reflexive form with singular they.

For example:

The author described themself as a lifelong learner.

This can be a valid modern English construction.

Mistake 3: Confusing their with them

Remember the basic difference:

• their = possessive
• them = object pronoun
• themself = reflexive pronoun

Compare:

They brought their book.

I gave the book to them.

They blamed themself.

Each word has a different job.

Mistake 4: Using themselves when the meaning is plural

Consider:

The two students prepared themselves.

Here, themselves is correct because students is plural.

But:

The student prepared themself.

Here, themself can be used because student is singular.

The meaning matters.

Mistake 5: Using theirself in formal documents

You may hear theirself in some varieties of English. However, formal writing usually calls for standard forms.

If you are writing an essay, application, report, or professional document, choose themself or themselves based on the sentence.

Theirself or Themself in Real-World Examples

Seeing these words in context makes the difference much easier to remember.

1. Professional Email

Each team member should ask themself whether they have completed all required tasks.

Here, themself refers to each individual team member.

A more traditional alternative is:

Each team member should ask themselves whether they have completed all required tasks.

2. News Article

A news story might say:

The candidate said they wanted to challenge themself with a new role.

The writer uses themself because they refers to one person.

3. Social Media Post

An informal post might say:

Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you are doing better than you think.

If talking about another person with singular they, you might see:

They should give themself more credit.

This sounds natural in many modern contexts.

4. Formal Report

A report could say:

Each participant was encouraged to ask themself whether the activity met their goals.

The reflexive pronoun points back to each participant.

A Simple Memory Trick

Here is an easy way to remember the difference:

Their = possession.

Them = object.

Themself = reflexive.

Think about these examples:

Their car is outside.

I called them.

They blamed themself.

You would not normally say:

❌ They blamed theirself.

So when you need a reflexive pronoun, remember:

them + self = themself

Comparison Table: Theirself vs Themself vs Themselves

Term/Variant	Meaning	Region/Context	Best Used When
Theirself	Nonstandard reflexive form	Some informal or regional usage	Generally avoid in standard writing
Themself	Singular reflexive form of they	Modern inclusive English	Referring to one person using singular they
Themselves	Standard reflexive form of they	Standard English	Referring to multiple people or in many singular-they constructions

The key point is simple: theirself is not the usual standard form.

If you need a singular reflexive form, themself is the more logical modern choice.

If you want the most familiar standard form, themselves is often safest.

Theirself or Themself: Data, Trends & Usage

The question “theirself or themself?” reflects a larger change in English.

Singular they has become widely used when a person’s gender is unknown, irrelevant, or when a person uses they/them pronouns.

This has created more situations where writers need a singular reflexive form.

For example:

Someone left their phone, so they should collect it themself.

As singular they becomes more familiar, forms such as themself naturally attract more attention.

However, usage is not completely uniform. Some writers prefer themselves, even when they refers to one person.

That means you may see both:

The employee should remind themselves.

and:

The employee should remind themself.

The first is more familiar to many readers. The second makes the singular meaning more explicit.

Theirself, meanwhile, remains much less accepted in standard English.

Is Themself Correct English?

Yes, themself can be correct when it is used as a singular reflexive pronoun with they.

For example:

Sam told themself to stay calm.

The important point is context.

Themself is not simply a replacement for themselves in every sentence. It is mainly useful when they refers to one person.

When they refers to several people, use themselves:

The workers congratulated themselves.

Not:

❌ The workers congratulated themself.

Is Theirself Correct English?

Theirself is generally considered nonstandard in modern standard English.

You may find it in speech, dialects, or informal writing. Its presence does not mean that it is the preferred form in formal English.

If you are unsure, replace it with themself or themselves.

For example:

❌ The person blamed theirself.

Better:

The person blamed themself.

Or:

The person blamed themselves.

FAQs About Theirself and Themself

Q: What does themself mean?
A: Themself is a reflexive pronoun used by some speakers and writers with singular they. It refers back to one person.

Q: Is themself grammatically correct?
A: Yes, themself can be a valid singular reflexive form of they. It is especially useful when one person is referred to with singular they.

Q: Is theirself correct English?
A: Theirself is generally considered nonstandard. It may appear in some dialects or informal speech, but it is best avoided in formal standard English.

Q: Should I use themself or themselves?
A: Both can occur with singular they. Themselves is more familiar and widely accepted, while themself clearly marks a singular reference.

Q: Can I use themself in formal writing?
A: You can, but check the style rules for your school, workplace, or publication. If there is any doubt, themselves may be the safer choice.

Q: What is the difference between their and them?
A: Their shows possession, while them is an object pronoun. For example, “That is their book” and “I called them.”

Q: Can themself refer to more than one person?
A: Generally, no. When they refers to multiple people, use themselves. For example, “The children enjoyed themselves.”

Conclusion: Theirself or Themself?

The difference between theirself and themself becomes much easier once you understand the role of each word.

Theirself is generally considered nonstandard. Although you may encounter it in some speech or regional varieties, it is not the best choice for formal standard English.

Themself is used as a singular reflexive form with they. It can work well when you are talking about one person without using himself or herself.

Then there is themselves, the traditional reflexive form of they. It remains the most familiar choice for many readers and is always appropriate when they refers to multiple people.

So, if you need a simple rule, remember this:

Avoid “theirself” in standard writing. Use “themself” for singular they when appropriate, or “themselves” when that fits your style and audience.

English keeps changing, and pronoun use is one area where modern usage continues to develop. The best choice is the one that is clear, grammatical, and suited to your readers.

Bookmark this guide so you never have to second-guess “theirself or themself” again.

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